#115: Another incident on the M74

A: The radio spouts the traffic. And we don’t move in the car. B: I keep my eyes on the road and my hands on the wheel. We’re frozen in each of our seats. A: The body in front of us doesn’t move either. B: We’re hanging upside down secured by belts. Paralysed by something. […]

#114: When You Have a Cold

WHEN ENCOUNTERING A MINOR AILMENT YOU MAY WISH TO CONTACT: OR YOU COULD LISTEN TO ALL THE ONLINE ‘DOCTORS’: OR YOU COULD JUST NOT.

#113: Far Too Easy

[A busy kitchen. Too many actors on the stage] -EGGS! -More eggs! -Can someone help out Robbie? He’s burning everything -Yes, chef -Fiona, pay attention – that’s sugar -Yes, chef -Okay, listen -Stirring! -Ladel! -That’s a fish splice! -Sorry – get your shite together -It’s a bread knife -Use a towel -you’re gonna burn your […]

#112: And Now I Wonder

Who goes there? But a man in a hot air balloon searching for a long lost sister He’s swept off his feet towards the upper limits and when he’s fallen back down to the ground he sees the angel of his sister leaving Earth one more time. ENDS

#111: Kill Screen

-I don’t want to meddle anymore -Sure you don’t… -Excuse me? -You’re always sticking your nose in. Why stop now? -OK, we need to sort this out -What? -Whatever this is… -This is nothing. Derek and I are moving on, so should you -Yes, cause this is my problem -Don’t make this about you -Let […]

#110: Waiting for Pizza

[A sofa in a room.] -When? -10 mins -It’s been an hour -It’s been twenty-five minutes. -FUCK! -I just want to eat -I want it so bad -I know, I know, I know -I know you know. You know -I know -Do you want a coke? -I want pizza -Yes, but do you want a […]

#109: Things Left Unsaid

-Thank you -Please -You’re welcome -Yes -Let’s do that -I’d love to Put it back in your brain

#108: Different places

Yesterday I took a trip to the old park, where I used to play as a small child. It was strange looking at the swings and roundabouts and dreaming about yesterday, wishing that yesterday could be tomorrow. Kirstin reaches out to grab the pole on the outside of the ferry, to feel the wind blowing […]

#107: Unfortunately That’s Your Job

[An actor enters the stage with shopping bags. They drop the bags centre stage. They fumble around for a number of sandwiches that they have bought and sits around eating them. Meanwhile, a voice-over emerges from the darkness.] Thank you for your order The system is running a little slower that usual at the moment […]

#106: Biscuit Base Foundation

-This one’s nice, Kel -What’s that? -This one’ll suit you -What is it? -It’s perfect for your skin tone -Oh right -Do you like it? -Where’s the girl? -You wanna try it on? -Maybe -You should try it -I don’t usually wear make-up -We should get it -I don’t have the money for it -Put […]

#105: Human Error

#104: Child of the Future

Dear Children of the Future, It is not bleak. There is hope. You may think that we have left you with mess, but there is a way through. You’ll need to build new paths through our institutions; put batteries in the torches; hold your friends’ and strangers’ hands and guide your people to a new […]

#103: Feminist Theatre

-Where are all the men? -They’re behind it. -Oh right. -What about that guy? -He’s just here for the wine.

#102: #Selfie

-it’s a onesie -it’s a nonsense, that’s what it is.

#101: Roundup of the Best

READ ALL ABOUT IT! THE BEST THEATRE IN ALL OF THE LAND DIGESTED INTO SIZEABLE QUOTABLE CHUNKS FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE! Flip-bert The latest children’s picture book to be brought to life by a group of talentless, underpaid actors with amazing flashing marketing that means that you can’t avoid it even if you live in […]

#99: Two writers, one room

-You wrote a thing -I did -It’s lovely -Thanks -Are you happy with it? -Yes -Do you like the director? -They are quite new, quite brash -Young? -A little older. Went to drama school. Has flappy hair -Flappy hair? -Yeah, you know [does an impression] -Right -I do like your new play -Thanks -Did you […]

#100: No Thanks

So she will make a move with her in the dance floor of her mind and it makes sense because she’s so far ahead of this game of life that no one can touch her no one can tell her what to say because she is so fucking ahead of the curve She is the […]

#98: Adjectives and No Action

-As we look -As we look we see a man -He’s walking his cat -I don’t think so -He’s walking a lemur -This isn’t the jungle -I didn’t say that -It’s an urban jungle -Lampposts, pavements – you know the type -He’s exploring this strange feeling landscape considering -He’s thinking about life, the universe and […]

#97: Flu Jabs at my Heart

-I feel so orange -Really? You do look a bit peaky. I wouldn’t call it fake tan, but it’s definitely – it’s definitely – you are quite pale. -Shall we stay in bed all day? -I want to get up and go for a walk -Just five more minutes -Ok -What shall we have for […]

#96: Got High

-Your nose is bleeding again -Shit -Have a tissue -This always happens. I’m sorry -Would you like another toke? -1 for luck -You always do that -It’s tradition -I don’t think you should have anymore -What? -Your nose. It’s bleeding everywhere -So? -Maybe take a break. Get some water -Do I have to get up? […]