#113: Far Too Easy

[A busy kitchen. Too many actors on the stage]

-EGGS!
-More eggs!
-Can someone help out Robbie? He’s burning everything
-Yes, chef
-Fiona, pay attention – that’s sugar
-Yes, chef
-Okay, listen
-Stirring!
-Ladel!
-That’s a fish splice!
-Sorry – get your shite together
-It’s a bread knife
-Use a towel -you’re gonna burn your bloody hand
-Can someone check those flans in the ovens?
-Desserts for Table 8
-Table 8?
-Table fucking 8!
-Coming to the pass, chef
-How long?
-30 seconds, chef
-Table 14!
-Yes
-Listen up
-Yes, chef
-3 chicken livers, 1 soup, 4 steaks, 1 rare, 1 medium rare, 2 well done
-Yes, chef
-8 mins!
-Yes chef!
-How are we doing with eggs?
-Eggs!
-Seasoning!
-Garnish for Table 11
-Again!
-It’s back again
-What?
-What did you do?
-They sent it back.
-Nothing
-Oh for fucks sake
-What’s the problem?
-Too dry
-You’ve overcooked it.
-What’s happened?
-Overcooked it
-It’s a fucking chicken! It’s already dead and you fucking killed it!
-Sorry chef
-Make another one!
-Can we have this one?
-Yes
-Take it out of my kitchen!
-Yes chef
-What the fuck is your problem?!
-Sorry
-Out of my way
-Shit
-What are you all looking at?
-Nothing
-Sorry
-Who did this?
-Chef?
-Garnish for Table 11?
-Yes, chef
-Shit
-What?
-It’s shit. Take it back. Do it again.

[A kitchen porter arrives silently.]

-What the fuck is this, party boy?
-Sir?
-WHAT THE FUCK?
-It’s 4.12pm
-Yes, sir!
-What time is the fucking time that you call this?
-It’s 4.12pm, sir.
-IT’S ALSO KNOWN AS FUCKING LATE
-Yes, sir
-You’re late
-Sorry
-You will work till the end of your shift and then you will never come back
-Thank you chef.
-FUCKING GET ON WITH IT

ENDS

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