[An actor enters the stage with shopping bags. They drop the bags centre stage. They fumble around for a number of sandwiches that they have bought and sits around eating them. Meanwhile, a voice-over emerges from the darkness.]
Thank you for your order The system is running a little slower that usual at the moment We currently are having the issue investigated by IT Support I agree that our policy can appear exclusive, but I'm sorry we can't process any refunds Thank you for your patience Would you like a bag We are temporarily unable to process any credit card payments If it's OK with you I can take your number and give you a callback Thank you madam I will alert my line manager to the issues that you have raised with me That fee supports our online service costs I'm afraid that Mr Jones's meeting ran late If you like to take a seat and he will be with you shortly Would you like a cup of tea or coffee while you wait I'm sure it won't be too much longer You are here to audition for Person Number Three Would you like to take a seat in the waiting room and they will call you through The toilets are down the stairs and on the left It shouldn't be too much longer Thank you for waiting We are delighted that you have been able to come down We will be in touch Really lovely to meet you Safe home Can I give you directions OK thank you Good night now
-Missed work for that
PHILIPPA MANNION 