#157: Experience Seekers

They do it on hills in graveyards in the back of the car on the edge of the motorway in the living room of a cottage in Farnborough on the kitchen table top in the self catering accommodation in the Andes in the après-ski in the bar toilets in Cape Town in an alleyway in […]

#156: Millionaires

Brown brogues Red socks Navy trousers Blue checked shirt and that hair cut that Hugh Bonneville’s character has in Notting Hill He’s successful, rich and slightly individualistic. He gives to Save the Children and buy books from the OXFAM bookshop. He likes his wife and his children have presents from around the world. They are […]

#155: Women need to raise the bar to get in the boardroom

[Two junior executives in an open plan office environment. Others sit around them, on the phone. ] –[on the phone] what? what? what? no. shut up. that’s awesome. tell me more. –[on the phone] you’re selling it? no no Ian. listen to me Ian. –[on the phone] no. no. no. –[on the phone] I’m asking […]

#154: Luggage

[A busy train leaving from New York to upstate. The train has pulled out the station and people are arranging too many bags into a small area.] –a man sighs -Excuse me -I’ll do it -I’m doing it, Cindy! -Fine -Sit down. Over there -Martin! -Save me a seat -Excuse me -Coming through -Excuse -Sorry, […]

#153: Storm is Coming

[First year of school. A teacher takes a register at the start of the day.] -Settle down now. Now after I say your name, you will say ‘Yes’. Good morning, 1A -GOOD MORNING, MISS PATTISON! [A hush falls over the room.] -Jessica -Yes -Kirsten -Yes -Philip -Yes -Stacy -Yes -William -Yes -Calm down, Yvonne -Jane […]

#152: n a p

I t s t i m e f o r a b r e a k O n e o f t h o s e o n e s w h e r e Can you get up please? Y o u r e d r i f t i n g a n […]

#151: Monday.

I like my eggs scrambled but I bet you like them fried. You pretended once that you wanted it boiled with soldiers on the side. You remind me life is better when your eggs are sunny side up. It would make you smile, sharing all that wisdom. You’d sit with the fork and knife, poised, […]

#150: Crying

You fill up a whisky glass You look down at the floor You prolifically take steps forward In the hope that the joy will return You snooze in the backseat while so-and-so drives you around Taking a moment to rediscover your roots you channel Bob Monkhouse or who was it. Hopefully you’ll play your cards […]

#149: Banana Party

[A garden in the suburbs. Henry has returned from his morning wall. Henry is a snail.] -Guys! Guys! Look what I found. -We saw the rose patch already, Henry. It’s beautiful. -No, no. You won’t regret this – there’s something special on the pavement. -We’re not going to the pavement -I’ve not been to the […]

#148: Beatbop Solo

-We want it like bitchin -like a beat that keeps playing -sort of syncopated -draws you in real close -and finds your heart -like a pacemaker -kepps it going -you know CPR –you know that, yeah -put your hands up -clap the -make it swim -make it dance -history will decide -you know -you know […]

#147: what I discover

A pigeon A gun A fan club that went beyond the city limits and came back in half Met full out war over the fence.

#146: Time time time

dance dance dance spin spin now clap spinning wool into harm served with biscuits if you listen closely you’ll focus on the sound on one man looking around finding his child in the midst of the crowd they are always in the middle fat feet and flappy hands definitely a penguin a better swimmer than […]

#145: Another Emergency

An ambulance worker takes a brief cigarette break at the back of the hospital. He places his foot on the brick wall, leaning against the side of the building and sparks up. He takes a long hard draw and sighs. The time between cigarettes has been growing steadily longer since he started working at the […]

#144: Ham on Noir

KIRKLAND IS HAVING A BREAKDOWN STEPHEN IS MAKING A SANDWICH THE INTERNAL AND THE EXTERNAL MEET AND NO ONE WINS. -Ham? –He says ham like it’s fucking Christmas, like he’s spontaneously decided to make a sandwich, like he hasn’t been planning this for the last few weeks. Like he hasn’t fucked my wife already and […]

#143: Quality Control

A cake factory tasting floor. -What is it? -It’s the consistency -This is a nightmare. Not the firm bottom that we wanted -The custard has curdled. -I’m not happy with this. -Tell them to not to bother -If you want something done right, you may as well do it yourself! -Start the cake mixers once […]

#142: Watch Masterchef

#141: Marble Factory

[Marbles. Everywhere. MR TERENCE is presenting his elaborate sales science to invited guests at the Marble Factory.] -We have a magnificent opportunity to penetrate the market. Gentlemen and ladies, you are about to learn the secret of marble selling and the different ways we intend to change your users’ experience of the round objects that […]

#140: Earrings

[LUCY is waking up after a night with NATHAN. NATHAN is bringing in a tray of coffee and toast.] -Morning! -Hello -You awake? -Morning. Good morning. I’m up! -Don’t think so. -I’m trying. -How are you? -Fine. My head hurts. -I made coffee -Yes please. -Do you take milk? -Sometimes. -Sometimes? -I change my mind […]

#139: Words

They watch it again and again as a provocation It’s worn as a badge of honour And it makes them cry Every time they see it They feel pain They cry But they know why they are fighting now Until the pain goes away.

#138: Sleeping All Day

-It’s a good evening; morning for me. Ready for another shift at the bar. I pull open the blacks and proceed to the bathroom floor on all fours, brushing my teeth in a quasi-hungover state in a sweaty shower. My head aches and I kill the light as I wash myself all over. I wrap […]