#144: Ham on Noir

KIRKLAND IS HAVING A BREAKDOWN
STEPHEN IS MAKING A SANDWICH
THE INTERNAL AND THE EXTERNAL MEET AND NO ONE WINS.

-Ham?
He says ham like it’s fucking Christmas, like he’s spontaneously decided to make a sandwich, like he hasn’t been planning this for the last few weeks. Like he hasn’t fucked my wife already and sent me the video. I always knew he was going to end it like this. Looking back through all the events and all the women, of course we’re here. He’s touching the ham like he’s stroking my wife’s pussy which I know he’s already done. Thanks for that, Stephen! He starts buttering the bread while he waits for me to decide. He may as well slap the meat across my cheek; that would hurt less.
-Well?
I know I don’t want ham, but the alternative is so much worse. I’m thinking about the other fillings and running through all my past decisions with this man. He’s fucking my wife, he’s pushing me out of this merger, he’s picked up my kids from school already. He’s better than me.
-Kirkland?
He’s got the ham. I need the ham. We cannot both hold the ham. Like I cannot hold my wife. He has taken all my power. I want the ham to hold me in the darkest night as I sob into my pillow over the latest merger, but Stephen has it all. To touch the ham is to dabble in greatness! To hold it is to win the game! Oh tragic fool! There is no place for you here.
-Are you ok?
I leave. I lost so long ago.

KIRKLAND LEAVES

-KIRKLAND! I thought we were having lunch?!

ENDS

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: