#218: Homeless Beggar Reading Bible and Laughing

He finds Leviticus hilarious. He is shocked by Genesis. Hearing how his parents met. Underwhelming is how he finds Deuteronomy. Exodus catches him off guard when we realises that everyone in the Library had left. It’s time he makes his way outside. The assistant needs to proof of address to sign him out this book. […]

#217: Banana Boathouse

-Did you do this? -Yes -Did you? -Yes -It’s beautiful. -Thanks -How long did it take you? -A few years. -Can I hug you? -What? -I’m overjoyed. I think we need to hug. You actually did it. [They hug.] -I mean for Christ sake, it’s actually a banana boathouse. Do you know what kind of […]

#216: Qirls

TRIGGER WARNING IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED A QIRL is a word that describes a individual who identifies as both queer and a girl/woman. They are usually between the ages of 16 to 30 and live in urban areas, although you can usually find them living in pairs in rural and country settings. A QIRL […]

#215: Death by Stairfall

In the time it takes me to fall down a set of stairs my mother has prepared dinner in the other room. She’d thought she’s heard the sound of one of the pans falling in the kitchen but doesn’t realise she’s been subject to my demise. I remember dying straight away and then horrifically reliving […]

#214: Tap Dancing Elephants

And there she goes! A tap dancing elephant! Lucky it is not ice skating. The weight would be too much. Go go go! It’s time step after cramp roll followed by shuffle ball change. An orchestra of taps. Not the water kind The type that make your ears enjoy the world. Oh she’s broken out […]

#213: Orphans

I think we’re alone now there doesn’t seem to be anyone around. ENDS

#212: Bank Monument

[An awful rap in urban space.] No. No. You got to believing me. When I say I don’t want your life story. I don’t want your life story. I don’t want this jack a nory. No need for boring. I sing like morning. Daybreak. I am alive. Five times the size. Hybrid lives and dreams […]

#211: The Bracelet

For as far back as she can remember, Winifred and Bill danced each night by the lake. They lived in the big house across the way and Mrs Smythe enjoyed watching this ritual as she pretended to read her book on the porch. She had observed them grow older and slower as time passed. Their […]

#210: Yottabyte

It’s not your time. It’s not your time to shine. Soon it will be. Soon it will be. You, you yottabyte you. Soon they will resize you, fit you on a desk and make you fair amongst the players of the hard drives. But for now lost and lonely yottabyte, it’s the programmers’ and developers’ […]

#209: Depression

I am not depressed. I can say that with confidence now. Back then, I didn’t really know what that meant I knew people could be depressed or unhappy, but I just thought this was how it worked out. I knew that something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. I assumed it was me. It’s […]

#208: Orpington

The cigarette in her hand is burning to the end. The baby is wailing in the back and little Kieran is smashing trains into trains, like a new found terrorist. It’s loud and hot and sticky. The windows are down and the cars ahead of us aren’t moving. Up ahead a lorry has jack knifed. […]

#207: Goofbag

A magical sweetshop which appears for only one day on the street outside your house. A life less ordinary forever changed. It only works for the length of the gobstopper. You’re a magical unicorn giving rides and tours to those who need it the most. You’re perfect until the sweet shop disappears. You will chase […]

#206: World War 2091

[A room with many shelves and devices] -They’re breaking through the battlements! -What should we do, Commander? -I need a minute. -We need a decision now, Commander. We have troops waiting for your instruction. -We’ll have a decision. I need to see their subsequent movements. -It’s not long til they break through, sir! -Should we […]

#205: Ark

“I am an ark, protecting human life by spreading forth more.” You’re pregnant? What? You’re pregnant? Oh my God, you’re engaged. You’re pregnant. What? Let me see it. Oh my God, you’re pregnant. YOU’RE ENGAGED How many months is it? When’s it due? You look beautiful. Are you telling people? How many people know? You’re […]

#204: First Times

-2008 -The sea -A large brisket. A massive loaf of bread -His mother looks on calmly at the non-Jew his son has brought home -His brother is telling his father all about how medical school is progressing. -He’s doing well. -Top 15% -Finished his exams and is all ready to apply his knowledge to the […]

#203: Niggles

[An argument amongst friends.] -Your hair is _fucking_ everywhere! -What? -Could you please hoover? I don’t want to have to ask you again. -What are you saying? -Your hair. It’s all over the couch. The bed. -That’s what hair does. -I know, but little hair pixies don’t come and pick them up you know. -I […]

#202: Life Is A Horrible Day

[A cigar house.] -Was a terrible time. Oh God. -Oh God. Remember the hats? -They were ridiculous. -Remember Wilbert? -Terrible, terrible. -So fat. -He could be really attractive if he tried. -He was so fat. -He IS so fat! -He doesn’t want to be, George. -You’re kidding. He doesn’t want to even try. Cake after […]

#201: The Cat Who Went To Brighton

[A woman sits on the train with her tortoiseshell kitten in a cage.] -Meow. -Quiet, Lemon. -Meow. -Shh. [Another woman and her child join the train at the station.] -Look, it’s a little kitten, Maddy. [The little child runs towards the cat and immediately strikes up conversation with the woman and her cat.] -Awesome. What’s […]

#200: Showering

[A shower in an unnamed European city. Two men are washing.] -Reminds me of Gatsby. -Who? -Mortimer. He reminds me of Gatsby. -In what way? -He’s so… sad. -He misses Gert. -Who? -That girl from school. You know, his boarding school. -No. Seriously? -Yeah. -Did they have a go of it? -He always talks about […]

#199: Common Myths Explained

A monkey is a human with fur. A human with fur is a murderer. A murderer is a chef with a motive. A motive is reductive; the causes are ten-fold. Ten folds are too much for a piece of paper. A piece of paper is a tree from the past. A tree is a monkey […]