I was given a photograph of Kelvingrove Bandstand in February 2010. It had been passed through a line of friends, until someone had heard I was interested in campaigning for the restoration and upkeep of the venue. I don’t know if I really do care enough about the Bandstand to campaign, but ever since moving […]

I’ve lost lots of writing. I am disorganised. I have thoughts sometimes. Writing is procrastination. For a long time, you are nowhere. For a long time, you have nothing. That is one of the key issues I have learnt about playwriting: the blank sheet of paper is your enemy. It needs to be filled. It […]

I don’t really know what to say. It begins with people being afraid. No, it starts with you. It all comes from your mind, your mind’s projection on the world, the way in which we view the world, how we lose sight of everything. It begins when you lose faith and the courage of your […]

Well, I don’t see you writing anything of note? Why are you pointing a gun at me? Do you not like what I’ve written? Why? Are you going to kill me now? Please put the gun down I didn’t want this to go this far. Please. ENDS

[A train on a Sunday.] -It’s one of those isn’t it? -Yes? You’ve heard of it? -Google Glass. -What is it? -It’s Google Glass -It’s just a gadget. -It’s a computer attached to your glasses. -Oh right. -Very cool. -What does it do though? -Takes photographs, you can Google things you see, video calling -Yeah, […]

1. [The noise of the sea.] [A beach.] LACEY: It’s utterly mad CAD: It’s been days and days and days KILDA: digs

To be alone with you to be along with you too alone with you to a lane with you to a lake with you toe in a lake with you to be alone with you with a lake alongside hold my hand please ENDS

Remember Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)? Well, here’s a really, really, really, really, rubbish, quite ridiculous and nonsensical personal version of it, just for you… History tells me that you were born on some date or other but you are much more wise, which makes me think you might be older, but not by too […]

It was Monday. It was the first day of the global festival. Jillian and Sector 4 were presenting the world record for the number of dancers in an outdoor fenced area. Tuesday. A floral arrangement of the words WELCOME TO THE GLOBAL FESTIVAL, which anticipated the arrival of different peoples to Planet Earth. Wednesday. A […]

[A montage of voices.] [A stage.] -We’ve all known for a really long time, Gerry. -Rachel, we all know! You don’t have to hide anymore. -You’re gay. -You’re gay. -I’m not gay -I’m not gay -I don’t answer questions about my personal life. -That’s none of your business. -No comment. -When the announcement came, relief […]

There is music and flour There’s several raspberries and an orange juice We spray glamour over our living spaces We pour chillies in their eyes and force it down their necks. He talks recipes and kitchens until the blood pours of his hands. He hangs up the laundry while she’s at work. It’s too much. […]

I don’t know who you are any more. I don’t want to be become what I’m not to you. She waits for the dream to arrive and the nightmare to end. I didn’t want to be a Vimmynicatijk. I don’t want to be labeled like that. I am not a Viking. I am not a […]

For heavens sake Will you come in? -Will you sit with me? -Me? -Yes. -Have you had tea? -No. -Do you like tea? -No. -Thanks -What? -For accepting me? -Yes? -Thank you for accepting me. -Ok. ENDS ENDS

When people say important – dangerous, perhaps – the rage boils up inside me. Of course it’s all dangerous We should say what we want. We should do all we can to protect that. ENDS

A Chinese man walking a dog. A beautiful white angel with his Oyster card in her bra on the bus. A woman with a screen that is dying on her. A dog who is being held captive by a human. An Indian man with the accent you expect but when you meet his wife you […]

A horrible presentation showroom, where people are sold things they want but don’t need. -You wanted a car, sir? -Or maybe you wanted a motorbike? -Or maybe you’re looking for a bit of both? -Behold, sir. -Please hold your breath and faint with amazement. -Sir, you indeed have struck gold with us. -We are so […]

[A phone call.] -Hello -Hello -I would like to speak with Karen Roberts -Yes this is she. Who is this? -Hi, Karen. This is Sophia. I work for Kings College London Development and Alumni Team. We are checking in with many of our graduates at the moment as it’s been a year since you graduated. […]

SO MANY TRIGGER WARNINGS. TURN BACK IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED He goes deep. He goes deep into my core. He sandwiches his dick into my ass and calls it Christmas. He’s so fucking proud of himself. Like the cat that got the cream. Like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. He’s violating me. I […]

She sits patiently clutching her notes waiting for her moment. She’s steering for a more formal introduction but he ushers her outside for a cigarette. She timidly takes the lit cigarette from his hand and coughs in the first puff. This isn’t what she planned but may as well push on anyway. There’s people looking […]

And that’s when I realise these people have come here to dance and sing. They’ve prepared with their life experience and checked their baggage at the door. And I have a backpack. I’ve prepared for wet weather days and hiking up mountains. I am something else. But then I realise that that’s accepted. That’s expected. […]