We never made it work
We sit in the café
Our umbrellas in a bucket by the door pink alongside red clashing
You pull off your blazer and place it on the back of the chair
I walk calmly to the bar and peruse the menu
The waitress tells us to take a seat
We order from the table not the bar she says
There is an pause while we decide what we want
You order a mocha and I have a double espresso
We speak about scones
Maybe we can share one I say
You point out the fruit one
You never really liked sultanas but you say you’ve changed
The waitress brings everything over
I sip the bitter espresso
You sip your sweet mocha
You split the scone in half and butter it on both sides
We speak about different types of jams
Apricot and raspberry
You said you made jam once
I know you’re lying but I laugh a little into my coffee remembering an event that didn’t happen
I know you’ve never made jam
We chat about the weather, the football, how nice the scone is, you like sultanas now, how it’s lovely to see me, then you mention moving out of our house
Wednesday I tell you
I’ll be out by Wednesday
Fine. Fine you say
I’m moving in with Claire I say
Oh, Claire. How’s Claire, you say.
Fine. Fine, thanks
You say you better get away, things to do, people to see
Maybe we can have coffee again sometime I say
You say, you say we’ll see
You know I’ll always love you you say
I can feel you lying again but I smile and I say I love you too
—
PHILIPPA MANNION 