#92: Scenes from an Emotional Life (Part 3)

I was in school – nearly
I was in a pen
caged like a chicken
running headless
no fear

I painted my life

as I saw it

I woke up in grass
which was a line
of course
and looked to the sky
which was a line
at the top of the page
small clouds juxtaposed in the ground like sheep

sun burning my face
we weren’t wearing sunscreen

and I held hands
with my mother
and with my father
I was swung into the air like a free bird

when I was younger
I didn’t have thoughts like this

I didn’t have language

my hands curled into fists
in frustration

I don’t do that now

I flatten my palms on the side of thighs feel the blood coursing through the femoral arteries envisaging bursting and explosion as I steady my breathing and exit all thoughts from mind executing tremendous functionality like a machine

like a source code

cartwheels in my mind
algorithms and ancestry