#39: Herbie Fully Loaded on Drugs and Antidepressants

[PAIL and WHILE are in a bedroom. WHILE is grumpy.]

-I can pack my own bag.
-We need to go now.
-I don’t need deodorant.
-Oh come on!
-I don’t need deodorant! What’s the point in that?
-The doctor said that positivity helps. Would you like mint fresh or original?
-Damien, I call you!
-Pick one.
-I’m not picking one!
-Do I have to drag you kicking and screaming?
-Don’t make this more difficult!
-Honey.
-I’m in pain. You know that. Stop trying to make it pleasant. Stop making it nice. It’s not nice.
-I know. Pick a toothpaste.
-You pick it. You’re obsessed with fucking toothpaste!
-Minty fresh it is then.
-Great!

[A pause. PAIL puts more in the bag.]

-Could I bring Herbert?
-Do you want to bring Herbert?
-Maybe
-We can try.
-I would like that.
-I don’t know if there will be enough space.
-I don’t need two pairs of pyjama bottoms. They have those robes.
-I don’t want you to be cold.
-I need to Herbert to come with me
-Why don’t you carry him and I can carry the bag?
-That’s silly.
-You want me to hide him?
-Yes.
-I suppose I can bring you more clothes if needed.
-They have robes. It’s like being a wizard.
-Is that true?
-Do Herbert fit?
-Yes. Anything else?
-Do we have to go?
-Yes. They’re waiting.
-With the robes?
-I’m sure they will be outside to welcome you in
-Into the robes!
-Come on, silly.
-Is Herbert there?
-Yes. Come on. Let me carry you.

ENDS

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