[Two dugs are hanging out on Christmas Day. Wrapping paper and toys surround them. They look a bit tired. There is a bone on the floor amongst the chaos. MONTY sighs. JEFF looks around.]
-Do you think we can get any turkey?
-We’re not puppies anymore, Jeff.
-All grown up!
-That was tiring.
-We’ve opened all the presents.
-Last year was so boring. Waiting for everything
-I love this paper
-Look at the bone
-What did you get?
-A cuddly toy
-I think it’s an Xbox
-Did you chew it?
-Yeah, wasn’t very nice. It’s got games with it
-Grand Theft Auto
-Don’t know what it means
-I love Christmas
-Who got you the Christmas bone?
-I don’t know. ‘Love Sam’
-Aw, that’s nice.
-They are good to us.
-I hope we get some of those little sausages
-Oh yeah. They are great.
-Do you like Christmas pudding?
-I’m glad you came over.
-Yeah, me too.
-We should have a drink. Where’s your water bowl?
-In the corner.
-This is the best Christmas so far.
-And it can only get better
[The family enters. SAM (the son) screams; JULIE (the daughter) starts to cry; PAT (the mother) runs out of the room to get a dustpan and ROGER (the father) looks like he’s exploding.]
[PAT reenters. She drags both dogs out by their collars.]
-NO CHRISTMAS DINNER FOR YOU!
[MONTY and JEFF wimper and howl as they are pulled offstage.]