[GAYNOR and FLAVIA are watching television.]
-Why does she cry?
-When she hangs up the phone?
-Yes
-She’s upset
-And what are they talking about?
-He loves her.
-No he doesn’t!
-Look, he just said it.
-And now he’s telling her to go fuck herself. That’s not love
-This man is a fucking dick
-Can you put the titles on please?
-The subtitles?
-Yes.
-Ah, Better. I didn’t know what they were saying.
-Can you not understand it?
-No. What accent is this? Are they speaking English? Sounds like something else,
-Geordie
-What is that? Jordie?
-Newcastle
-Oh, in the North. Near Edinburgh
-Yes
-Ah. Yes. I should go there
-Apparently it’s quite nice.
-I don’t understand a fucking word
-They’re trying to help him. She cheated on him and he’s crying about it, and then this girl is having a massive argument with the man who won’t love her. It’s a big mess.
-Why are they shouting?
-And now everyone is yelling!
-Oh, it’s not about him. It’s about them.
-Why are we watching this shit?
-You want to change it?
-No. It’s quite funny
-This makes me feel better about myself
-I want to weep at the state of humanity
-This is terrible
-Oh she’s crying again
-No one is so upset like this, are they?
-Maybe
-He seems like an asshole
-You’re right
-He’s definitely a massive dick.
-Why are they talking like this?
-Oh that’s funny
-How?
-You know, the eggs, the basket
-I don’t get it
-It’s an expression
-I don’t know it
-Neither do they clearly.
[They both laugh rather half-heartedly.]
ENDS
PHILIPPA MANNION 