#247: BANDSTAND

BANDSTAND TAKEOVER
100 practical instruction cards for individual and group intervention

I DO NOT ENVISAGE THAT MANY OF THESE MICROPERFORMANCES WILL BE ENACTED IN PUBLIC SPACE, BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN DO. NOT WHAT YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DO. BUT WHAT YOU CAN DO. YOU ARE ALL CAPABLE. WE ARE ALL CAPABLE. MOST OF US. DO WHAT YOU CAN. PROVE ME WRONG. DO NOT ACCEPT MY ASSUMPTIONS OF YOU. SPREAD THE WORD. TAKE THE CARDS. LEAVE THE CARDS. MAKE IT WHAT YOU WANT. SHARE. DON’T SHARE. ACT. DON’T ACT. REJECT. DON’T REJECT. RECORD. DON’T RECORD.

#TAKEOVERBANDSTAND #BANDSTANDTAKEOVER

PERFORM ON THE BANDSTAND
REALISE YOUR POTENTIAL

#1
FIND SOMEONE YOU’VE NEVER SPOKEN TO
BRING THEM TO THE BANDSTAND
READ THEM ALOUD THE FOLLOWING:

“No person, without the written permission of the Secretary of State, shall—
(1) be in a Park, or any part thereof, at a time when that Park or part thereof is not open to the public;
(2) except in an emergency, land a helicopter or other aircraft in a Park or enter a Park therefrom; or
(3) permit any animal of which he is in charge to be in any Park or part thereof in contravention of a notice exhibited by order of the Secretary of State.”

#2
SING Life Is A Flower BY ACE OF BASE AS LOUD AS YOU LIKE
IF YOU DON’T FANCY SINGING FIND A COPY OF THE SONG
AND PLAY IT THROUGH SPEAKERS OR AMPS AT ANY TIME OF DAY

“CHORUS:
We live in a free world
I whistle down the wind
Carry on smiling
And the world will smile with you
Life is a flower
So precious in your hand
Carry on smiling
And the world will smile with you

VERSE:
When every race is run
And the day is closing in
I don’t care about the world
I’m living for the light
Don’t cry for me today, ah-ah ah…

CHORUS

VERSE:
I cannot be your judge
Mr. Jailer is your host
He’s keeping you inside
And hides you from the world
No catcher in the rye
Can help you from yourself

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Please Mr. Agony
Release them for a while
Learn them the consequences of
Living without life

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

CHORUS x 4
(fade out)”

#3
PICK A SONG THAT REALLY SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU
BORROW A KARAOKE SYSTEM
SING IT
ASK PEOPLE TO JOIN IN
SING IT AGAIN
SING IT AGAIN
SING IT UNTIL YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHY IT REPRESENTS YOU
SING UNTIL YOU’RE HOARSE

#4
DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT?
IF YOU DON’T PLEASE TAKE ANOTHER CARD
DO YOU OWN AN INSTRUMENT?
PLAY ONE NOTE IN THE BANDSTAND FOR AS LONG AS YOU CAN

#5
READ THE FOLLOWING ALOUD REALLY LOUDLY:

#6
DO NOT PARTICIPATE
THINK ABOUT THE POWER YOU HAVE
ACKNOWLEDGE THIS POWER
REALISE THE POTENTIAL
BUT DO NOTHING WITH IT
IF YOU DO NOT REALISE THIS POTENTIAL
RUN ROUND THE BANDSTAND 25 TIMES
IF YOU DO NOT REALISE THIS POTENTIAL
KEEP RUNNING
DO NOT STOP UNTIL SOMEONE PHYSICALLY STOPS YOU

#7
READ ALOUD ALLEN’S GINSBERG Howl IN ITS ENTIRETY
USE A MICROPHONE IF YOU CAN
DON’T STOP READING UNTIL YOU ARE FINISHED
DO NOT STOP UNTIL SOMEONE PHYSICALLY STOPS YOU

#8
FIND A FEW SLEEPING BAGS
MAKE A THERMOS OF TEA
BRING A CUDDLY TEDDY
FALL ASLEEP AT THE BANDSTAND
IF ANYONE ASKS YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOING
GIVE THEM A CUP OF TEA
AND INVITE THEM TO JOIN YOU

#9
STAND ON THE BANDSTAND WITH A SIGN READING
I WILL DANCE FOR MONEY
IF ANYONE ASKS YOU TO DANCE
DANCE AND ASK FOR MONEY
IF THEY ARE NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR PERFORMANCE
ASK THEM IF THEY WANT TO JOIN YOU

#10
FIND SOMEONE YOU’VE NEVER SPOKEN TO
AND READ THEM ALOUD THE FOLLOWING
ASK THEM TO READ IT ALOUD FOR YOU:

“3. Subject to the provisions of regulation 6, no person using a Park shall—
(1) intentionally or recklessly interfere with the safety, comfort or convenience of any person using a Park in accordance with these Regulations;
(2) deposit waste, litter or any other article into, or do any act which pollutes or is likely to pollute water in, any fountain, lake, pond or river;
(3) drop or leave litter or refuse except in a receptacle provided for the purpose;
(4) use—
(a)any pedal cycle, or
(b)any roller skate, roller blade, skate board or other foot-propelled device
except on a Park road or in an area designated and marked as being for that purpose by the Secretary of State;
(5) fail to keep any animal of which he is in charge under control or on a lead—
(a)after having been required by a constable to do so, or
(b)in contravention of a notice exhibited by order of the Secretary of State;
(6) permit any animal of which he is in charge to foul any pathway or mown lawn;
(7) permit any animal of which he is in charge to be tethered or to graze;
(8) fail to remove any animal of which he is in charge from a Park or place in that Park after having been required by a constable to do so;
(9) fail to comply with any direction for the regulation or control of—
(a)horses or pedal cycles, or
(b)roller skates, roller blades, skate boards or other foot-propelled devices
given by a constable or by a notice exhibited by order of the Secretary of State;
(10) (a) ride any animal,
(b)drive or ride any vehicle, or
(c)use any pedal cycle, roller skate, roller blade, skate board or other foot-propelled device
in any manner that endangers or is likely to endanger any person;
(11) (a) use a pedal cycle (other than when it is parked), or
(b)drive or ride a vehicle between sunset and sunrise, or in seriously reduced visibility between sunrise and sunset, unless it is lit in accordance with the Road Vehicles (Lighting) Regulations 1989(1), and for the purposes of this regulation references in the Road Vehicles (Lighting) Regulations 1989 to a road shall be deemed to be references to a Park road or any other area designated and marked as being an area in which a pedal cycle may be used;
(12) drive or ride any vehicle off a Park road except—
(a)for the purpose of parking that vehicle in a place reserved for that purpose by the Secretary of State,
(b)an invalid carriage, or
(c)a vehicle in use for the purpose of transacting business with any person either residing in a Palace or Park or using land therein under licence from the Secretary of State
provided in the case of sub-paragraphs (b) and (c) above that the said vehicle is not driven at a speed exceeding 15 m.p.h.;
(13) in contravention of a notice exhibited by order of the Secretary of State, or after having been required by a constable not to do so—
(a)play any game or engage in any form of sport or exercise,
(b)use any kite or model aircraft or any mechanically propelled or operated model, or
(c)skate or otherwise go on any ice;
(14) fail, when in the public speaking area in Hyde Park, to comply with a direction given by a constable to move from some place in that area or to leave the area;
(15) fail to move any chair, stand or platform in the public speaking area in Hyde Park in accordance with a direction given by a constable;
(16) fail to comply with a reasonable direction given by a constable to leave a Park or any part thereof.”

#11
LET YOUR CHILD SCREAM AS LOUD AS THEY CAN IN THE BANDSTAND
IF YOU DON’T HAVE CHILDREN

#12

#13
PLACE A CHAIR OF YOUR CHOOSING IN THE BANDSTAND
LEAVE IT THERE

#14
STAGE A SILENT DISCO AT THE BANDSTAND
ASK EVERYONE TO SING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS
IF THEY DON’T
FORCE THEM

#15
ENCOURAGE A CELLIST TO PLAY JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH’S
Suites for Cello, Suite No. 1 in G Major BWV 1007: Prelude IN THE BANDSTAND
COMMENT ON HOW GREAT IT IS
ANALYSE IT
TELL PEOPLE ABOUT IT FOR 4 WEEKS AFTERWARDS

#16
HAND OUT BOOZE TO UNDERAGE CHILDREN
DON’T APOLOGISE
SUPERVISE THEM AND ASK THEM WHY THEY TOOK ALCOHOL FROM YOU
WRITE DOWN THESE RESPONSES
READ THEM ALOUD

#17

#20
BREAK UP WITH YOUR PARTNER AT THE BANDSTAND
EVEN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO
INVITE SOME STRANGERS TO WATCH
SAY ALL THE WRONG THINGS
SAY ALL THE RIGHT THINGS
TELL THEM IT’S OVER
STORM OFF LEAVING THEM THERE

#21
BRING SOME JUNK FROM YOUR HOUSE OR THE STREET YOU LIVE ON
SELL THESE ITEMS TO PASSERS-BY
IF THEY DON’T THINK THEY ARE WORTH ANY MONEY
GIVE THEM THE ITEMS FOR FREE

#22

#25
ASK 2 -5 MOTHERS TO BREASTFEED THEIR BABIES AT THE BANDSTAND
ASK MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC WHAT THEY THINK
WRITE DOWN SOME OF THEIR RESPONSES
READ THESE RESPONSES ALOUD

#26

#30
FILL A BUCKET FULL OF WATER
AND BRING IT TO THE BANDSTAND

#35
ASK A STRANGER TO STOP SHOOTING AT YOU
ASK THEM TO PUT DOWN THEIR WEAPON
ASK THEM NOT TO HURT YOU
TELL THEM THAT NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY THEY WILL ALWAYS HURT YOU
TELL THEM THAT WE WILL NEVER STOP HURTING EACH OTHER AND THIS NEEDS TO STOP
ASK THEM ONE MORE TIME TO PUT DOWN THEIR WEAPONS
YELL AT THEM IF YOU NEED TO

#36

WRITE IN CAPITAL LETTERS WITH YOUR BODY

SIT THERE FOR AN HOUR AND WRITE

OFFENDING THE AUDIENCE

#40
BRING A SHEEP TO THE BANDSTAND
AND TETHER IT TO ONE OF THE SIDES
IF ANYONE ASKS YOU WANT YOU’RE DOING
SAY THAT THE GRASS HASN’T BEEN MOWN IN A WHILE
EVEN IF THAT IS NOT TRUE

#41

#45
FIND A ROCK BAND
ASK THEM TO PLAY A 4.01 MINUTE SET AT THE BANDSTAND
FORCE THEM PLAY COLDPLAY’S Viva la Vida
RECORD IT
SEND THE VIDEO TO THE LONDON 2012 OLYMPIC GAMES ORGANISING COMMITTEE
SEND THE VIDEO TO CHRIS MARTIN

#54
SET UP SHOP
TRADING WHAT YOU CAN
FOR WHAT YOU CAN
ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO START TRADING

#56
ALLOW YOUR DOG OR PET TO DEFECATE ON THE BANDSTAND
DON’T CLEAN IT UP
IF YOU DON’T HAVE A PET YOU MIGHT WANT TO DEFECATE INSTEAD

#57
BUY 2 – 5 COFFEES FROM A LOCAL COFFEE SHOP
BRING THEM TO THE BANDSTAND
INVITE SOME PEOPLE TO JOIN YOU FOR COFFEE
ASK THEM
LEAVE YOUR CUPS FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO PICK UP

#60

#70
TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AT THE BANDSTAND
YOU MAY CHOOSE TO BE NAKED
YOU MAY CHOOSE TO NOT WEAR A COAT
YOU WILL CHOOSE SOMETHING BETWEEN THESE TWO EXTREMES
IF ANYONE ASKS YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOING
ASK THEM IF THEY WANT TO JOIN YOU

#71

#75
LAND A HELICOPTER IN THE BANDSTAND
SIZE – FROM MODEL TO ACTUAL

#81
KISS ANYONE YOU KNOW AT THE BANDSTAND FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT
CLOSE YOUR EYES
IGNORE ANYONE ELSE

#82
READ EVERYONE OF THESE CARDS IN THEIR ENTIRETY AT THE BANDSTAND
DON’T STOP UNTIL YOU ARE FINISHED

#83

#84

#97
APPROACH THE BANDSTAND WHILST COMPLETELY INEBRIATED
PEE AGAINST YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE STRUCTURE
MARK YOUR TERRORITY

#98
GIVE SOMEONE ORAL SEX IN THE CENTRE OF THE BANDSTAND
YOU PROBABLY SHOULD DO THIS AT NIGHT
BUT YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO IT IN THE DAYTIME
IF ANYONE ASKS YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOING
STOP
OR ASK THEM TO JOIN IN

#99
BRING SOMEONE HERE
AND DO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
ASK THEM TO MARRY YOU

#100
TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH WITH A FRIEND
ASK THEM IF THEY WOULD CONSIDER THERAPY
ASK THEM IF THEY HAVE EVER TAKEN PART IN COUNSELLING OR THERAPY
ASK THEM IF IT HELPED
TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCES
TELL THEM WHAT YOU THINK OF THERAPY

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