#186: No signal

[a nondescript room. Two chairs. A mobile phone rings.]

-It’s my phone.
-Do you need to get it?
-Is that alright?
-Take it if you want
-No it’s fine. I’ll turn it off. Should have turned it of earlier. Sorry.
-It’s fine. Though it’s good in these sessions, if there’s no interruptions so we can really focus on you.

[she turns the phone off.]

-Really sorry about this.
-It’s fine. Take your time
-It never happens
-It’s happened. It’s done.
-Are you ready?
-Yeah. I’ve put it on silent. Hope that’s ok.
-That’s fine. If there is something urgent, please let me know and you can answer things as and when it’s important.
-it can ease the transition into these sort of sessions.
-it’s my time, right?
-That is the way that we like to frame these sessions, yes, it’s your time. You need to exercise some control though and realise it’s ok to be silent. With me. A stranger.
-They told me to bring some stories…
-They? Who’s they?
-My doctor. They said I would be ask about my life and what my story is. Where it’s all come from?
-Oh, your story. Your life. Do you want to tell me your story?
-Not sure.
-What would you like to talk about? As you say, this is your time. Do you know why you’re here?
-I was referred.
-I don’t want to be here.
-You still are.
-Why you being a dick?
-You think I’m being a dick?
-why? How do you feel?
-You’re being so nice.
-Do you prefer it when people are ‘dicks’?
-yeah, it’s easier
-How do you feel, Rachel?
-Don’t know.
-Do you want to check your phone?
-Do you want to look at your phone?
-You sure?
-I can live without it.
-Do you want to turn it off and give it to me?

[a pause]

-It’s not like I’ve got a story to tell. I’ve got a busy life. I need to be in touch with my mum, my husband, its important to be on top of everything. I’ve got emails from work, from my personal account, tweets to send, blogs to write, everything. It’s all there. It’s all ready and waiting for me. It’s not a story. I’m not a story.
– What story did you bring?
-I have a life you know. I can’t just turn off!
-why not?
-it’s doesn’t work like that!


– you’re here because you didn’t sleep for four days.
-I was working really hard
-we’re not going to cut you off but we need to limit your usage.
-we can no longer trust you
-it’s not about trust, is it